Anton Rippon: I'm getting on a bit now – but there's an app for that
THERE was a time when us old codgers would sit in the pub on Friday lunchtimes complaining about youngsters fiddling with their mobile phones.
Now look at us. Talk about silver surfers. Everyone is checking texts and e-mails. There is much talk about the best deal, so many free "gigs", and someone has even produced a "tablet".
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Anton Rippon
Hitherto, talk of a tablet would have prompted a competition to see who was on the most medication.
Now, it promotes boasting about the latest "apps". We can now identify aircraft flying overhead, order direct from the shopping channel – as if – and take photographs of each other wearing silly expressions.
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Apparently, there are 300,000 apps, most of them completely useless so far as I can see, although there is an app that tells us exactly where we are. Something that, as old age takes us ever tighter in its grip, might come in useful when we are ready to leave and can't remember the way home from the White Swan.
But I think I'm right not to trust such gadgets. Take what happened a couple of years ago. Our destination was a Six Nations match at Twickenham.
All seemed well as we sped south. When we eventually pulled off the motorway, I took a peep at the map supplied by the ticket agency. A map that had earlier been dismissed by our driver with a wave of the hand and: "I know where we're going, thanks."
So even when we began to deviate from the route we'd been given, I wasn't too concerned. But when we turned off a B-road and bumped down a tiny track, I began to worry. And when we pulled up in front of a small gate leading into a field, I was convinced that we should have used the map after all.
"Here we are," the driver said triumphantly. "I told you I wouldn't get lost."
"Fine," I said, "but look around. Drink in the scene. True, there are two sets of rugby posts, set at what looks like the regulation distance apart.
"And there's even a modest clubhouse. But do you honestly think that here, this very afternoon, 82,000 spectators are going to be accommodated?"
The previous evening, he'd Googled "Twickenham Rugby Football Club". Which is actually a small club in a place called Hampton. Then he'd entered its postcode into his sat nav. And then he'd let the machine take over.
The Twickenham we wanted was four and a half miles away. This place may have boasted "the 11th oldest rugby union club in the world". And it may have advertised itself as "the nearest helicopter landing field to Twickenham stadium".
But had we stayed there, then instead of witnessing the rugby cream of England and Wales, we'd have been watching Twickenham RFC 3rd XV take on Ealing Exiles. I rest my case.
Back in the White Swan, my drinking has been interrupted a number of times by electronic communication from Sophie at National Express.
I've never dealt with National Express, I've never met Sophie and I'd like to know how she came to be in possession of my e-mail address. Maybe she, too, has an app?
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by Derby_born
Thursday, March 07 2013, 4:52PM
“My phone was using American locations and I could not find a local map. I contacted my service provider and was advised to uninstall Google maps, then download the app and reinstall it. Everything worked correctly after that. I also downloaded an app that shows me the location of my bus, along with an ETA for my stop - does not prevent delays, but at least I know how long I have to wait. How did we ever get along without apps?
Looking back to the 70s when Startrek was leading the field in weekly Science Fiction, and they had those "communicators" that made it possible to communicate across an entire planet, it is almost unbelievable that we have an even more advanced and powerful piece of communication equipment in our pockets, the only draw back being that we are being bombarded with messages telling us of some unclaimed PPI claim or being invited to gamble away our funds at some remote virtual casino; so much for mobile phone call?”
by Hackneytom
Thursday, March 07 2013, 12:02AM
“And what is your point madbadger? You have made no contribution to the thread only jumping in with your thumbs to insult another user. Worthless comments by a worthless troll!”
by Neo_MadBadger
Wednesday, March 06 2013, 11:27PM
“"I zoomed back to get an overview of the whole area, which according to my Google Earth view was at a shopping mall on a freeway just outside Florida, USA!"
DB, you are not using it correctly.”
by Derby_born
Wednesday, March 06 2013, 10:59PM
“Oh! I also downloaded a compass app, this is a free app that shows a decorative marine style compass. This moves and works just like the real thing, and is fairly accurate. Seens impossible for a digitised screen image.”
by Derby_born
Wednesday, March 06 2013, 10:56PM
“I receivedd a new Samsung smart phone for my birthday, this is the first one I've had that has Internet access. I was surprised to descover that it has satelilite navigation with GPS that work in conjunction with Google maps.
We called in at Little Eaton Garden Centre, the accuracy of the mapping is amazing, or so I first thought. The scren immage showed an aerial view of a car park, a small blue arrow pin pointed our position on the third parking bay on the front row, so far, so good?
I zoomed back to get an overview of the whole area, which according to my Google Earth view was at a shopping mall on a freeway just outside Florida, USA!”
by oscardoodle
Wednesday, March 06 2013, 5:45PM
“As an aside, I find shipais.com to be a slightly melancholy site, as if you watch it on a dark winter's evening with the shipping forecast on the radio, and see some of these lonely little trawlers braving the elements in the Atlantic, it sort of brings it home what these folk go through to get our kippers in a bag with knob of butter. Especially when you can put a name to the dot on the map.
I believe that a new App will be available in the future where you will be able to see where your Arriva bus is. However that (along with the bus) will be a long way off, since current GPS technology does not work in the Twilight zone. Do do doodoo do do doodoo........
Anyway,back to airtracker, with my flask and my anorak, the one with the I-spy members badge...........”
by oscardoodle
Wednesday, March 06 2013, 5:40PM
“The 'real time' often quoted on these apps is, in fact, a little misleading, as there is a delay. This results in the aircraft being several miles away from where it actually is. In fact, on the air traffic tracker that Derby_Born mentioned, I had a quick gleg and watched an incoming Ryanair flight from Costa Unpronouncabilio land at East Midlands, where it was still showing 145 knots at 850 feet. That must have been one heck of a fast motorised ladder they used to get the passengers off. And what a view............”
by Anton_Rippon
Wednesday, March 06 2013, 2:39PM
“shipais.com sounds a useful app for a Somali pirate. Or in the case of the aircraft app, for a terrorist armed with a surface-to-air missile. Seriously, aren't there security issues with some of these?”
by oscardoodle
Wednesday, March 06 2013, 2:29PM
“I have an app for a pie chart on my Blackberry. Trouble is, I daren't click on it, because all I can think of is apple and Blackberry pie, and I get hungry.
Be careful,Anton, on getting addicted to flight tracking- next minute you will be visiting the shipais.com website, which brings up a llve map of all shipping around the british isles. Zoom in to a particular area and you can hover the mouse over a blip and it will tell you the vessel, it's speed and heading. Then you click on it and get all the ship info and often a picture. Try not to look at the English channel- you will get a panic attack. The Orkneys is very peaceful, though....”
by Anton_Rippon
Wednesday, March 06 2013, 11:42AM
“Yes, looked it up now. You're absolutely right. It was 2010. Times does fly.”