By Nigel Powlson

THERE are apparently 42 different robots in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

This includes one that prowls like a jaguar, a series of little devils that behave like Gremlins and a geriatric machine with a walking stick.

And then there's Megan Fox.

She may not qualify in the special effects head count but her permanent pout is just as robotic as anything else on offer here.

The first Transformers film took $700m, mostly in America.

Over here it took £23m, £1m less than The Golden Compass, which was considered a flop by its Hollywood makers.

The sequel, at least according to an interview with Fox, cost $300m to make. In which case it must qualify as the biggest waste of Hollywood cash since Bad Boys 2 and Pearl Harbor.

All three films were directed by Michael Bay all in the same style – quick cut, quick cut, slow motion, big bang; repeat ad nauseum.

Bay's concept for the first Transformers film was alien robots fight bigger robots. His concept for the sequel seems to be "even bigger robots".

Shia LaBeouf returns as Sam Witwicky, the kid who saved humanity from the Decepticon robots with the help of the friendly Autobots, led by Optimus Prime (voiced by Peter Cullen).

Since the last film, the Autobots have joined forces with the US military to track and destroy the last remaining Decepticons, while Sam is saying goodbye to his irritating parents and girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox) in order to go to university.

But during his first lecture Sam has a mental meltdown and starts hallucinating about strange symbols and a robot called The Fallen who has a plan to steal the energy of the Sun, thus destroying the Earth.

After that, everyone runs around at 100 miles per an hour and talks even faster. LaBeouf and John Turturro, as a former special agent, are especially guilty of garbling their dialogue.

Overall, the film is a mess, which will make little sense to even the most ardent fan and only the special effects team emerge with any credit.

They at least provide us with the best digital magic that money can buy; with the robots trashing the pyramids, tearing chunks out of each other and blasting big holes in our planet while looking supercool in the process.

If that's all you want from a summer movie, then sit back and lap it up because you going to get a lot of it. At 147 minutes, an awful lot of it.

Sadly, even the most expensive special effects in the book fail to transform Megan Fox into an actress. But perhaps she can be computer-generated in Transformers 3.