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Search forSuper mum is living her dream
Friday, August 29, 2008, 10:30
At the age of 23, she thought things would be very different because she feared she would never have a baby.
So, she became a foster mum and filled her house with foster children.
"Almost overnight I had the family of my dreams," said Gayle, of Mickleover. "It was wonderful."
What happened three years ago made the 31-year-old's life complete.
After being diagnosed with fertility problems and spending £9,000 on treatment, she was pregnant.
Gayle's fifth and final course of IVF delivered what she had always wanted – a double bundle of adorable twins.
"It was brilliant," said Gayle. "I'd loved being a foster mum, but having children of my own was something I really wanted to do. It was the best news ever."
Gayle's children, Martin and Millie, who is autistic, are the centre of her world – but she still has more love to share.
As well as her own children, who celebrated their third birthday on August 8, she is providing an adult placement for Hayley Fell, 20, who has learning difficulties.
Gayle is also fostering a six-year-old girl and looks after a 15-month-old boy who has disabilities.
Since she became a foster carer with Derby City Council, she has welcomed more than 10 children into her home.
"I like it like this," said Gayle. "I love having a busy home with lots going on. I'd be bored if I didn't have so many children to look after. It's all I've ever wanted."
Since becoming a foster parent, Gayle and husband Martin, 37, who runs his own business, have cared for children of all ages and with all kinds of disabilities.
They moved house so they could accommodate more children. And now they are busy extending their current home to give their family more room to move.
"When I started fostering, I think people thought I was a bit young and inexperienced as I hadn't got children of my own," said Gayle.
"I was only 23 when I had my first foster child and I guess that is quite young, but it was rewarding.
"It was lovely having children in my life. It hit me hard when I discovered that I had fertility problems. When you want to be a mum, it's just not what you want to hear."
Caring for children with learning disabilities is something on which Gayle has tried to focus. It is the challenge she likes more than anything else.
Gayle was the first person to pick up on Millie's autism and she thinks it is because she has had so much experience in dealing with children with learning difficulties.
"From a very early age, I knew that Millie was showing signs of being different," said Gayle.
"In the end I asked my health visitor for her opinion. It wasn't a huge shock.
"I've had children with autism and that's why I knew Millie had this disorder."
Millie's behaviour does not faze Gayle. She copes remarkably well with her daughter.
"Millie gets distressed and tearful if she feels out of sorts," said Gayle. "She likes routine and she likes her favourite toys around her.
"She never sleeps very well, and she doesn't talk, but she's happy in her own world."
Gayle puts every ounce of her energy into giving "her" children a good, stable home.
"Some of the reasons the children come to us are very upsetting," said Gayle.
"That's why it's so important that I give them all that I can while they are here with me."
Before she became a foster mum, Gayle made a promise. She vowed to put everything she had into being the best parent she could.
"I love what I do. I think I've got the dream job," she smiled.
Derby City Council always needs foster carers. For details, call Derby City Council's fostering team on Derby 718000, or visit www.derby.gov.uk/fostering
FAMILY SNAP: Gayle Wagstaff, of Mickleover, with her three-year-old twins Millie and Martin along with Hayley Fell, 20, who is on an adult placement with Gayle
