I COULD use this page to wade into the Frozen Planet scandal with my immense opinion but instead I want to ask thus: who in their right mind would pick Billy Mitchell as an Olympic torchbearer!

Yes, last week it was revealed that EastEnders' weediest market trader was one of 8,000 pillars of the community selected for the honour of carrying the priceless Olympic torch next year.

Talk about inaccuracy in the soaps! I mean, first of all, who would nominate Billy Mitchell for the role in the first place? And then, who on this planet would pick him?!

He's always getting in punch-ups, he was once a heartbeat away from executing Nick Cotton in cold blood, he's just been stung handling a suitcase full of stolen goods and, if you needed any other nails to hammer into the coffin, his cousin is beetroot-faced criminal Phil Mitchell!

It just wouldn't happen.

There must be some screening process for people nominated to carry the torch but Lord Coe must have nodded off and accidentally stamped "approved" when Billy's application was thrust in front of him.

I'm all for the soaps trying to mirror real life and when it's done well, it's great – but more often than not, they go into overdrive with it.

Remember when it was Father's Day, and every other line included the words "Father's" and "Day", just to remind us that EastEnders is topical? Rubbish.

Anyway. The Olympic torch thing gets worse.

Not only is Walford's worst candidate doing the honours (did no one think to nominate kindly old Patrick or the world's favourite barman, Alfie Moon?) – but Albert Square is actually part of the official route.

London 2012 chairman Sebastian Coe recently celebrated Billy's role by saying: "The announcement is a great addition to the Olympic Torch Relay Route. I'm sure the people of Walford will now start planning their celebrations."

I doubt he'll be as cheery when Billy gets mugged in the park, Phil Mitchell nicks the torch and Big Mo flogs it down the market for £80.